Posted in Art, College Work, Word, Image, Sequence

I Don’t Want To Die

After talking with my counsellor, I decided to explore more about emotion, feelings and experiences I have been through.

This one directly handles how I used to be – I still am classed as ‘suicidal’ but not to an extent of following through with it due to being too ‘stubborn’ to give up, as people have suggested.

I decided to show a version of me in a position I have been in while showing a more recent thought on the wall, within the bathroom.

The reasoning for this is, although I sometimes think the world would be better off without me, and although I feel worthless, I don’t want to be in the same situtuation as I once was. I don’t want to die by my own hands, I’m not wanting to actually give up my right to live just because some people think I should, let alone because my own brain thinks I should.

I am somewhat happy in my life, I will always have my downs and the times I think I would be better off dead.

But I can honestly say, I will (hopefully) never act upon those thoughts and feelings.


The Artwork is mine.

Inspired by William Kentridge, Charles Burns, and Debbie Drechsler.



Hello! My name is Castiel Gutierrez. I am a Graphic Designer, Author, and Human Rights activist based in Yorkshire, England. I'm a Lover of food, video games, and music. And I'm probably the Queerest person you know ;)

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